At the moment I am waiting… I am searching and waiting…. Waiting while searching… waiting for the effort of my search to pay off…. to find that thing, that means or employment, that is going to pay me enough money so that I can pay my bills and keep me living. Usually it is called a job. But I am open to that it can be called something different, as long as it is legal way of earning money. It would most likely be a job… but I really have no idea at the moment. I am just playing with the words and thoughts about having a job. That we need a job to make money to pay our bills and to live…. But can it be done differently than the usual? The thought about the 8-16 kind of job that I used to have, before I did my masters, seems too boring, static and unsatisfying. The thought of that kind of job, is somehow gone, now that I have discovered that it doesn’t have to be that way. But could it be something else than a job? I have no idea. Time will tell.
So, I am unemployed at the moment. I think it only happened a few times in my life… luckily. Even though I feel very much at peace with it, because I believe that I will find a job, it is the fact that you don’t know when that income possibility will come, that stresses you a bit. But but but, I will keep trusting and feeling at peace with it…. Until I don’t anymore…. Ha ha!!
So, what happened with the job that I had? In mid-October I quit my job without having another one on hand. I had to do it in order to take care of myself. I was harassed and mocked by two of my colleagues and neither the manager nor the boss took it seriously. The manager even took sides with my colleagues. My plan was to stick it through until the hostal was closing in November for the winter, and I would have to find another job anyway. But when I began to get huge red and painful rashes on several parts of my body, it was a sign to me that I was too sensitive to stay in that kind of working environment. I had to get out as soon as possible, so that I would not be sick of stress. So, I did. And now 1½ months later, I am still without a means of making money. I have searched and networked my ass off…. Searching for jobs as a waitress, receptionist, in cafés, as English teacher, putting up conversations groups, at the university, as a reflexologist, with my tourist business, here and there and everywhere, where they can use someone who speaks five languages… but nothing has payed of yet… I had one job I did as a guide, that is all for now…. But I have planted many seeds and talked to many people…. Something will pay of soon; it is just a really low season for many things here in Cádiz and the problem is that there aren’t many jobs. But I have hope.
DOING THE THINGS I ENJOY
I get up early every morning, I have a morning routine and a to do lists every day and I have to apply for at least one job every day, preferably more. I know that having a daily routine is a lot better for me. Sleeping longer makes me feel stressed, that I don’t get things done.
This unemployment time has given me the opportunity to slow down. To let go of all the stress I had build up in my body over the summer of starting my business and dealing with personal growth through colleagues and the roomie that I lived with during the summer. My to do list from the summer is finally done and the new one is very simple and filled with things that I really enjoy doing, like writing, coming up with contents of tours that I want to do next year in my tourist business, finishing a reflexology course that I started in September so that I can start working with it, diving into yoga knowledge, making new friends, going out with friends, eating healthier, to build up a yoga routine, start taking salsa classes again, reading and more… Reading a nice book is something that I haven’t done in a long time. Now I am relaxed and in peace with my self and I can finally feel myself and think creative thoughts instead of running and feeling behind all the time. It is an amazing time for me, and I feel very content… I also went on some nice hikes with friends, seeing new places of the province. And I got a new roomie for two months, a lovely German girl, so now I get to practice my German, that was a bit forgotten. My mom also visited me days in October which was very nice. Everything is just fine…. Just the way it is supposed to be…. While waiting I live and enjoy my life. The job will come. I just follow my heart and the flow…. And prace being in the moment and finding balance in life.